|
Millennium Celebration
Oh, the Millennium event was coming up. What joy, what excitement, what
expense!! We blew it out on that one. When we were told in the forum to
hurry up and buy our airline tickets many months in advance, we did it even
though we paid a huge price for the tickets. When we made our hotel
reservations a full two years in advance, we gladly paid the inflated room
price. We purchased a tuxedo and ball gown. We wanted to to glow and shine,
honor the joy and excitement we were feeling.
Well, the event was stunning. We met up with some old friends, and made some
new ones. We were overcome with joy and excitement. A group of us bonded and
spent many wonderful hours together, talking, sharing, laughing, and
ultimately doing magick together. After all, Lazaris had just spent days
telling us that we are all Magicians. We made the cut, we were GOOD ENOUGH.
We felt it, and we chose to practice it together one beautiful afternoon
when a group of us magically came together on our last day in Orlando.
Together we worked a ritual, and we made a commitment to each other, to
continue to honor and grow the love that we were all feeling for each other
in that moment.
There was one blight on the event for us. One big highlight was the
opportunity to meet Peny. During the Millennium party a few of us went over
to Peny's table to say hello. A few people had expressed concern that we
might be annoying her, or that it might not be appropriate to just go speak
to her, but Katie poo poohed the thought, and thought for sure that Peny
would certainly be most happy to meet us, most of whom were frequent posters
on the forum, some of us having discussed our most personal and private
issues with her there. We were sure our approach to her would result in a
friendly welcome. Well, how wrong can anyone be? As we approached Peny, we
were given the nod by one of her entourage, we formed a line, and quickly
the line grew behind us. Within minutes the line of people waiting to meet
her was snaking around the large room.
Peny assumes a very unpleasantly bizarre appearance, big bleached hair,
thick, intense, gaudy makeup, an extreme tan, a huge unhealthy appearing
body, not a person you would pass on the street without noticing or
commenting. But, this is PENY, our Peny, the one who has so generously
given of herself to share our beloved Lazaris. This must be what a Magician
looks like. We must need our sense of reality shaken up. We must confront
our prejudices, stretch our minds, grow, love the person, not their
appearance. Lazaris loves Peny, that should be enough. If anyone has a
problem with her appearance, that's because of our limitations and
shortcomings. What is fashion anyway, what is wrong with a person looking
different? Katie has her own body image issues, why impose cultural
prejudices on Peny anymore than we want them imposed on us? It must be our
negative ego which is reacting negatively to her appearance!
But then........Jach introduces us to Peny. We smile, we're so excited, so
anticipating the opportunity to make eye contact, to express our gratitude,
share a moment, just a brief moment with this remarkable, stellar, loving,
bright light in the Universe. .........But then.......the dead eyes, the
cold fish eyes, the condescending blow off......my god!!!
Peny was
surrounded by those same forum posters, the same people we had come to know
as the Orlando Gang. Jach was holding her hand in a most protective way, and
the rest were in complete "attendance", watching her every move, leaning in,
focused on her every word, even possibly looking worried.(?) Katie gave a
big smile, a sincere hello and thanked her for this marvelous event. She
dead eyed Katie, looked past her, and quickly said "you're welcome" and then
singled out someone from the line behind us and started speaking to them.
She was not only not the least bit interested in meeting us, or anyone else
from our group, people with whom she was in almost daily communication in
the forum, but she was flat our RUDE. We all walked away feeling quite
dismissed. HMM.....more to ponder, more self-doubt, more self-evaluation.
Why were we encouraged to speak to her if our greetings weren't welcomed?
Strange, but still it was such a wonderful evening, so much great
conversation, good company, new friends, joy, celebration...oh well.....once
again, we just must not be up to the task of understanding such a stellar
being. ...the evening progressed magnificently. We got to chat with so many
people we had met in the forum. We shared, laughed, talked, and ate (not
much, the food was beautifully arranged, but it sucked, and there wasn't
enough to go around, unless you can make a meal of pineapple and melon, but
we all just kind of ignored that, we have all become so good at denial and
avoidance).
|