I am new here. I just wrote a letter to Katie I would like to share with you.

Dear Katie,

I am so shaken. A close friend of mine sent me a link to your website. I have been praying some answers for sometime now and I think I just found them. My friends and I have always wondered if what had happened to me in the Forum had happened to others. Your experience with the Forum is so close to mine it sickens me. It took me months to get over it and to this day the thought of Peny and Jach brings a knot to my gut. I was publicly burnt at the stake as they all (The Gang) went on a witch-hunt for me one day. Like you I had spent years buying tapes, never experiencing Peny first hand. When I got on the Forum I was so excited because I thought, "Wow I have found my community!" I spent much time reading and writing posts. I was generally snubbed or ignored but I still felt apart of an important process. The 'Burning' tore me apart but something very important happened. I now NEVER, EVER place someone else in a position of authority over me. Even some like the all-loving Lazaris.
When looking back, I too did nothing wrong in the Forum. Peny was simply acting in a paranoid manner and took exception to a very simple statement. At first Jach even agreed with what I said but then I have a feeling Peny railed on him because he changed his tune. I tried to apologize for hurting Peny's feelings but I refused to say that what I wrote was wrong. I was then called everything in the book, martyr, etc. In the end Jach told me that I had "Insulted Lazaris". When this happened something rose from deep inside me and said, "NO!" That goes against everything that I have ever believed or was taught by Lazaris themselves. If a Being is without ego, they can not be insulted. It is as simple as that. Jack crossed a line with me and I could not take Concept Synergy serious anymore. I do feel there is incredible material and many wonderful insights and lessons but I am not willing to sell my soul to get them.

I have so much more I would like to say...
Lynn Daniluk

Thank you so much for writing! I remember the posts in question very well, Ted and I have discussed that thread several times since our departure from the Forum.

If you don't mind, I'd like to refresh the minds of those reading along, or fill in for those who weren't in the Forum at the time.

You had the audacity to make the statement that the Spiritual Journey book contained the full wisdom of Lazaris, and that it stands on it's own as the full embodiment of the Lazaris material. Am I remembering that correctly? You had the nerve to share an independent thought, one which of course, could have been taken as a threat to the business should anyone take it to heart and stop buying tapes and attending seminars. As I also recall, you were thoroughly trashed for not attending enough seminars.

I also recall that your post was in response to a very nasty one written by Peny's cyber lover, the renowned crystal expert who was later trashed and denounced by Peny, the momentous event which started Forum Storm.

I know how incredibly painful that situation was for you, it was painful, confusing, and soul wrenching to witness. Looking back, I'm still in shock that no one, not me, Ted, no one reacted appropriately to what was going on there. That is powerful ether they are pumping into that Forum.

What I think happened is that Peny and Lover got into one of their famous bitch sessions about the poster who was originally trashed for asking a question, then you attempted to
provide some support for him, and the games began. You, my good friend, made the mistake of getting in the way of the psychopathic hate machine that Peny has been running on high steam for many years now. You didn't have a chance! How dare you try to mitigate the spiteful hateful words which were provided as balm to the unfathomable, unquenchable foul ego of that sick sick woman? You unwittingly stepped into the sacrificial circle where one was being slaughtered up as sacrifice to the Anti-Goddess, and in doing so, you became the sacrifice yourself. That little bugger who you tried to help is still a smug believer who refers to this site as "bad energy".

As I recall, the usual players all stepped in and took their jabs. You were not going to get away without bloodshed, and the regulars were right there with their finely honed weapons of torture. They all know their roles very well, and seem to have a profound sense of enjoyment over participating in these slaughters of the innocents.

I fully agree with you that it is ludicrous for Jach to have accused you of insulting Lazaris. The way those vile asses go on, you would think that their precious Orb is some kind of supersensitive, paranoid ass, in need of protection and defense. Some helpful strong being they have provided us with.

Your story is so demonstrative to me of the fact that even the protection of the Bright Orb myth is less important to to those lowlifes than Peny's insatiable thirst for blood. When she gets thirsty, look out, there are no boundaries, logic and reason fly out the window.

Another very revealing and interesting aspect of this thread, viewed in hindsight, is that here we have an example of how the sycophants defended and supported Peny's keyboard Romeo. It was his behavior that inspired you to write, the very same behavior that a few months later was offered up as evidence of the "co-dependence" of ALL Forum members with this pampered co-Queen of Peny's. Where was all their later stated passive acceptance of "our" co-dependence with him? Screw them, they jumped in like a pack of rabid dogs to support his foul bullying in the name of "honesty" and "love".

Peny once stated in the Forum in reference to us here that "some of us have long memories". It would seem that in fact they have very selective memories. My belief is that the only thing those trained attack animals have a memory for is the taste of blood. Once the pampered monkey keyboard lover boy bared his fangs to his keeper, all memory of his encouraged, defended, free reign of terror against Forum members flew right out the window. And that coward has disappeared now, never to take any responsibility for his years of feeding that huge monster thing it Orlando.

Can you tell that your post has opened some of my wounds? It has, and I'm very happy to allow for some more of the venom to be released from my system.

I hope your wounds are releasing the poison as well Lynn, and I thank you greatly for providing the opportunity for me and others to honor the intensity of the poison which flows from the fangs of those cobras, and to know that these wounds do need tending and attention to be sure all the venom is cleared and gone.

We all were bitten by some very foul and ugly snakes in the service of one very sick human being.

I look forward to hearing more of what you have to say. It is a great service that you have written here, and it is much appreciated.

To all who reads here, this is the letter I sent to Katie when she replied to my regular e-mail.

Hello Katie,

You have restored my belief that someone out there on the Forum saw and witnessed what I went through with the same horror that my family and friends experienced. The primary questions they asked were, "Does everyone on the Forum really believe this?!!!?? Are there any people involved with this Forum that have any common sense? How could such a simple letter be made out to be such a crime against humanity?"
The list goes on. The 'trial by fire' did not just effect me. It shook my entire spiritual community here in Ontario (and it is a big one!). My entire family was involved Lazaris and one of the teachers I have been studying holistic health with for twelve years owns every tape. We all based so much of our spirituality on the Lazaris material. Fortunately, like Ted, I had other influences in my spiritual life and have had a deep connection to 'God' since childhood.
Why did this happen? Could it be that on a certain level I was getting myself out of this cult before I really got myself in? (Not very elegant I admit) I was born into a cult. My parents left when I was two. Knowing what I know from their experience, it did not take long before I figured something was very wrong with C/S Forum. Any attempt to discuss material other than 'Lazaris' was met with silence. If he didn't endorse it, it didn't exist. Any attempt to contribute in a meaningful fashion was met with a comment that a person was arrogant or it was again met with silence. Only the 'In' group had anything worth while to say. Then the sheep just followed along.

OHHHHH this feels so liberating!!!!! Thank you! Thank you Thank you!!!! Your right. More healing to come...

In reply to your question,

You wrote,

"You had the audacity to make the statement that the Spiritual Journey book contained the full wisdom of Lazaris, and that it stands on it's own as the full embodiment of the Lazaris material. Am I remembering that correctly?"

Yes I did. I said it very innocently, as though everyone understood that fact. Jach completely agreed with me but Peny was very upset by it. I wasn't implying that the rest of the material was not worth while. My comment was taken out of context and Peny responded to me in a very immature manner.

Lynn

I joy-n the others in welcoming you to the joy of freedom and exhilaration in being released from the cult of C/Synergy!! I vaguely remember the forum crisis you had there.

I had been on their forum for a couple of years during their Compuserve days and endured the flames of their raging anger for my suggesting that there might be a better way of handling disagreements than the shredding that was taking place. I left the turmoil of their snake pit in disgust but continued to attend seminars. I felt a great resonating affinity for the teachings and had gleaned a great many insights from them.

A couple of years after they opened their website, I joined and, to my surprise, was accepted. I was in hopes that things might have changed. I was surprised to see one very dear "friend" of Peny's get away with stuff that would *never* have been tolerated in C/Serve while others continued to be flamed. This was certainly a mystery to me until they had a falling out which has been mentioned.

So, Lynn, you are not alone in having had suffered at the hands of such insane stupidity as many have witnessed in the dynamics of "The Orlando Gang," as they have so aptly named themselves. There are so many others out there who have been damaged and hurt beyond comprehension.

People are held in such fear that they feel that they *must* reform and conform themselves to the dictates of Peny or they will lose their ability to attend seminars. Yes, she has forbidden several from ever attending. As a 6, she is in a continual state of disintegrating into paranoia which truly rules her life and her relationships with others as is so readily apparent in her being so quick to attack others for some perceived affront. Control seems to be her god and she demands complete and total subservience. What a crime that so many fall into this trap!!

It may be of some interest to those reading here that Peny's birthday came and went and there were only 12 or so birthday greetings to her. There usually are 50-75, and there were no greetings from "The Gang" who usually lead that charade of that parade. Peny has not been seen nor heard from since last September or October. No one is saying a word.

Interesting that it's about the same time that this site was becoming more widely known.

Be that as it may, healing time for you has begun, and there are those here who are a wonderful support system!!

Welcome to the discussion!

I remember the thread to which you are refering. Apparently you made two huge mistakes - of course you had no way of knowing what the unspoken rules were. Such is the case in co-dependant situations.

The first mistake was to listen to "Lazaris" rather than the Queen. Lazaris has said that the essence of all the material is contained in each segment, as in a hologram. However, purchasing one book will not keep the money flowing into C:S coffers. Had you attended (more) workshops you may have been hypnotized properly to stay in your place. But, no, you decided to think for yourself. Cults don't allow that.

The second mistake was that you dissed the object of Peny's obsession. This is the person we refer to as "Steve" in the Lazaris: Friend or Fraud section. I won't mention his name, as he is not a public figure.

If you were still in the Forum at the time of Forum Storm, or if you read our account, you know that "Steve" was ostracized. The new (unspoken) rule is to hold Steve in total contempt. Those who failed to do that during Forum Storm were subjected to the same kind of thrashings that you who questioned his authoritah were subjected to when he was on his pedestal. People with backbones find it very difficult to bend 180 degrees, so the Gang set out to break those backs.

BTW, there is little evidence that Peny herself studies the material. She chastizes you for not attending workshops. When was the last time she attended? Jach never attends, if he is really in trance at the time.

Thanks for the info about Peny's birthday. Very interesting that the Gang didn't post to her. I think that speaks volumes.

Has anyone in the Forum inquired about where she's been? I guess not - not unless they're up for a good thrashing.

quote:

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Has anyone in the Forum inquired about where she's been? I guess not - not unless they're up for a good thrashing.

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I think it was last December sometime that someone had the temerity to inquire, ever so gently, about the whereabouts of Peny. Jach immediately jumped in to say that she's fine and that she's busy working on projects.

To my knowledge, that was all that was said about her mysterious disappearance. So, the shields are in place, the drawbridge is up, the moat is filled with crocs, and a heavy mantle of secrecy has fallen upon Camelot.

Thank you for clearing up even more of the mess.

To give you some background to my community scene up here in Canada...
Most of us have only related to Lazaris books and tapes and very few of us have the opportunity to come to the States for seminars. There is only one person I actually know who travels to the workshops but she has always stayed clear of Peny and Jach. She was really only interested in what Lazaris had to say. That is the perspective that our community comes from. I guess you could say that we have been lucky to learn from the Lazaris material in a cloistered environment. As Ted said, we actually listen to what Lazaris had to say and we took Lazaris at their word when they said 'We are a friend.' Not a guru, not even a Teacher. A friend. None of us set Lazaris up as a demi-god. We did not fear that Lazaris might leave us or get mad at us or any other of these strange notions that seemed to be implied on the Forum if we did not comply with Peny's authority. Peny never had any authority. We just saw her as a friend of Lazaris. Ok I guess we did imagine that she would personify a healthy being but we never set her up with any real authority over us. The same went for Jach. At the one workshop I did attend, I went to the 'Time with Jach' and came away thinking, "Well the guy isn't anymore evolve than I am" and left it at that. No judgement there, just an observation. He certainly didn't speak as Lazaris did. That demonstrated to me that Lazaris was real as the change in the person was so great I found it hard to believe that it was all just an act. I have been involved with theater for many years and I was hard pressed to think that anyone could memorize that much material, in context, for that length of time, without faulting once. I sat through three days of it, watching to see if any 'acting' was going on. At the time I did not see how but your information has left me wondering... The point is, if Lazaris is who they say they are, I believe they would be very supportive of us questioning. I think that was the other thing that freaked Peny out about my letter. I was suggesting that it was very important for us to question everything. That does not imply I do not trust but that my definition of what to trust changes as I receive more information about any given topic or situation.

So...I got on the Forum.I was the only one out of our group to do so. Suddenly I was in this world that didn't make any sense. If this forum was the result of the Lazaris material then something must have gone wrong. I even found myself giving away my power to it. Peny suddenly held authority over me. It was soooooo warped.

Ted, you wrote,

"BTW, there is little evidence that Peny herself studies the material. She chastizes you for not attending workshops. When as the last time she attended?"

I could feel this right away. So much of what she said did not fit with the Lazaris material.
This is where I have more questions.
Has anyone actually heard Lazaris ever actually say in person that Peny did not have anything left to learn and that she was an evolved being?
I know that in the workshop I attended Lazaris actually made fun of 'The Channel' for not using the techniques that he suggested. He did not make out as though Jach didn't have more to learn. On the contrary!
I am wondering, do you think that maybe my community (who was outside of the scene) was able to hear certain things that Lazaris was saying because it was not in context to the info that Peny and Jach was dishing out?

I read your post with much interest, and it struck me again: how many bloody bodies can one person leave in her huge wake.??
"WAKE"....this brings me to the news flash I just heard the she passed away this morning. I did have a sorta premonition about a month ago that she'd had a heart attack.or something.. but that was pretty logical too....given her girth....

I fully agree with you that Jach is one messed up asshole. I know, I'm not supposed to say that today, when he is allegedly grieving the passing of his "reason d'etre" (reason for being).

Fuck Jach. Fuck him harder today. Is it true that Peny died today? Who will ever know? That organization is so full of lies and bullshit that it would take 100 years to sort it all through.

A wise person once told me that the measure of a relationship was directly related to the level of honesty within it.

One thing we know for sure is that we have uncovered one lie after another from this group.

Why? Why the lies, why the deception, misrepresentation, mystery, elitism, etc?

Why?

Fuck anyone who objects to me or anyone else asking those questions, and fuck anyone who doesn't like my choice of language.

These bastards have demonstratively, obsessively, calculatedly, devised to control and manipulate honest and caring people.

Bravo! Bravo!! Bravo!!! to all who have the heart and self-respect to stand up and speak the truth and object to abuse, lies and manipulation.

Bravo to you Audrey!

Ahhhh the plot thickens but yes there is further clarity. I do wish to hear more.

I must admit I am scratching my head about the timing of this whole thing for me. I have been asking for some resolution about the C/S Forum business for awhile now and then boom! I find this site and within 24 hours Peny is gone. There is much to think about.

My partner is feeling lots of intense emotions and he really appreciated your letter on the 'New Flash' thread. It released so much for him. He needed to read a real gut felt letter. It is amazing to realize how much both of us were holding in about this issue. It was a wound that kept of festering, no matter how much 'light and love' (LOL) you poured on it. (To put it politely, we have come to dislike that term. I always want to ask, "What do you mean Light and Love? I hardly know you!")

There are many parts of my life I am starting to bring forth and speak about now and this is an important one. I am happy for the chance to talk. I came across this quote on the internet and I printed it off so I could have it above my computer. It reminds me where I have been...

"Will all those who feel powerless to change things please signify by maintaining their usual silence."