So, here I am finding some real nuggets in other threads, and I cant help myself commenting on some of it.

In a different thread Demian Dreamsinger said: When I first started on this journey to reclaiming my power, my first view was to realize Peny was seriously not what she was purported to be but still hold Lazaris to be true.

Then I had to face the fact that if Lazaris was real, he had to be held accountable for endorsing such an abusive person such as Peny.

Then I had to tell myself the truth that this entity or Jach had deliberately lied and misled me in at least one seminar, and all the other holes started to appear.

I finally came to the place where I realized in my mind I could no longer believe Lazaris was real. But even though I no longer believed the Lazaris material was "gospel" any longer, I still felt there were lots of valuable information in them.

Now, I'm beginning to question even that. End Quote.

This to me is a huge part of leaving a cult. For some the intense overwhelming questioning of everything happens in a short time period, for others over a longer time period.

However, I do believe questioning everything is a healthy part of leaving a cult.

It can also be the most disconcerting, scary, and painful part of actually leaving. All of a sudden we see the very fabric of what we based our lives, and ideals on being torn to bits and pieces. What can we stand on now? How can we handle all that intense questioning? What if what we find in answers is to scary to handle?

Questioning is a necessary, healthy part of leaving a cult. There will be a time when we have found our sea legs again, and life again holds high ideals, beliefs, and faith. Now those ideals will be based truely on who we are, and on the complexities of life, not on being controlled by asswholes.

The one thing we do not have to question is the inherent, deep down ideals which first led us to the cult. Those ideals are the core of our being, the best part of us. Hold on to it, know its truth, know your own goodness with those ideals, and then question everything around it, as a way of getting closer to the truth of those ideals.

Your core will not be hurt by such questioning. The only things that might get hurt by you questioning is the lies. Those can not stand up in the face of intense personal questioning.

And know, you are not the only one who has gone through, or are going through this. It is normal, it is part of recovery, it shows your strength that you are able to let it happen. Others has done this too, and come out so much stronger than before.

Kind regards,
Malene