I found this site between Xmas and New Year (not a nice chrissy present I thought at
the time) yet maybe after all it may be the best New Years present I ever received.

I came across it from a search for Peny North - what really possessed me to do this I'll
never know but I do know that I hadn't felt happy for the basically entire 3yrs of being
a Forum member.

The first month was full of excitement and I started to communicate with others by email and posted a couple of times and I also ended up making a friend and we kept in contact regularly as she was a newbie poster too.

What started to add to the slight uneasiness I was already having from listening to
some tapes and videos was a reaction she received by Jach both on the site and by
private email (in answer to her one) for committing the sin of not quoting Lazaris
correctly in her post, she was devastated and so was I and I never posted again even
though she did for a short time after - and eventually we gradually drew away from
each other.

I became a lurker - a dissillusioned lurker as I seemed to be constantly witnessing the hierachy pull someone down over and over again. I became frustrated with searching out subjects of interest as after the few first initial posts the topic usually ended up escalating into a 'bashing' as someone had misquoted or had a 'tone' to their posts which weren't acceptable etc. etc.

I began to question myself - thinking I must be in my child, adolescent, martyr or victim etc. as I didn't get why they did these things so therefore something must be wrong with me!! Do some more processing, get some more tapes etc.etc. I wasn't feeling buoyed by it anymore, I slowly began to doubt myself again.

I also began to feel despondent when posters were bought into line whereby they offered their sincerest apologies and admitted they were in negative ego etc. I use to feel sick and think 'Oh well, they've got to them too!!' I constantly tried to figure it
out why it was not OK to speak about what you believed in without being judged all the time - everyone makes mistakes, so why was it so bad to misquote Lazaris - we all hear what we need to hear at the time don't we?? Why couldn't they be more compassionate in their responses!!

I remember Peny discussing the Conversations
with God in the Forum. She said something about the masses being light years away
from absorbing metaphysics and quite dense about it as well - that stung as it made me feel like I was never going to get there especially since I never understood some of the content of the material anyway.

I've been working with the 'Lazaris Material' for approx. 10 years and will agree that
some of it helped me immensely at the time I was working with it especially as I was
moving on from having Hypnotherapy (for 3 years) with a Licenced Therapist - this is
one of the reasons I hooked into it so well as it was exactly like my sessions with my
healer - the same type meditations etc. so I felt quite safe in this environment.

My background is one of physical & mental abuse backed up by a constant reminder what
a loving close family we were so the antics of the Forum don't sit well with me and I
really 'Feel' something is wrong here.

At times I fear taking control and have done alot of work on this so I am speaking out
once again to support Ted & Katie in what they are doing. I have said in an earlier
post that I don't necessarily agree with all that is said here (and I don't expect to) but it does make me stop and re-evaluate my perspectives on things etc.

I must say though that even though I nervously giggle about some of the names given to Jach, Peny, Lazaris & C/S I don't truly feel happy about that as it reminds me of my childhood and I do wonder if that is a positive way to support this site.

I am a member of this site because I have 'felt' for a long time that something is wrong in 'The Forum' and because I have been learning to heal myself over these past few
years from abusive relationships I refuse to become active in one again therefore I
have also cancelled my Forum Membership.

BTW I have been having counselling these past 2 years as well which has helped me to also 'Listen to the Whispers' and recognise controlling relationships.

I believe it takes alot of courage to do what Ted & Katie have done in regards to setting up this site and even though I've been torn at times and saddened by is 'Lazaris a Friend or Fraud' it has helped me to become even more discerning in my search toward my spiritual growth. I would like to give them a great big hug and 'Thank-you' both once again as this site has been another step for me in validating myself.

With Love
Rose
aka Demelza

I found this website in much the same way you did. Searching the internet under the phrase "friends of Lazaris". I don't know either what possesed me to do that but I am very glad I did.

you wrote:

[[I remember Peny discussing the Conversations
with God in the Forum. She said something about the masses being light years away
from absorbing metaphysics and quite dense about it as well - that stung as it made me feel like I was never going to get there especially since I never understood some of the content of the material anyway.]]

Wow.. I remember that thread, though not that sentiment from Peny. It sure sounds like her though

I am fairly certain I wrote something dismissive about those books in that thread and I am sorry if that contributed to your distress. I haven't even read them.. just have a big mouth and didn't like an interview I read or saw with the author.

This notion of the "masses of asses" not "getting it" goes to the heart of Penys behavior, IMO

I have written here as have others that it appears to me that Jach and Peny and Concept Synergy have clear contempt for their clients.

The price gauging, the shady business deals [Tradevest] the forum abuse all tally up to a pretty low opinion of the people paying for your services.

And this comment from Peny, I think, gives insight into that.

Cheers,

Jeremiah

quote:

---

I must say though that even though I nervously giggle about some of the names given to Jach, Peny, Lazaris& C/S I don't truly feel happy about that as it reminds me of my childhood and I do wonder if that is a positive way to support this site.

---

I think some of the made-up names are a way to diffuse anger, betrayal, sorrow, and bring some humor to an infuriating situation. Peny, Jach and the forum gang are not respectful of others. I doubt that they respect themselves, because they are so clueless about simple common decency.

In my first few weeks of posting as "Lorca" I contributed to the made up names and I don't regret it. I was really upset and angry -- with good reason. Since I started posting under my real name I have pretty much refrained from doing that because it can be a distraction, even making the information sound flippant, and possibly diminishing it's weight. We are dealing with a very serious situation here, and I want to present my viewpoint and feelings with as much clarity as possible. On the other hand I do appreciate the injection of lightness and humor because it's cheering and healing. Fortunately, we posters have a sense of humor aside from the names that make for a chuckle.

Negative comments about Peny's size can also side track a reader. However I do think that if a person looks artificial (lots of make-up and wigs like the women and men on the Christian networks), it may reflect a deeper artificiality.

So glad to know your name Rose. Like so many people, I too grew up in a dysfunctional family in which "love" was a mish-mash of good and bad feelings. I'm feeling that somehow, getting clear of the "Lazaris" conflict, inconguities and confusion is giving me boost in clearing and healing the last of the hangover baggage from my youth.

Love,
Jade

Just to let you know that I really do understand that people are really upset and angry -- and with good reason.

I hope no-one takes this as a criticism from me, re: "the names given to Jach, Peny, Lazaris & C/S" etc. it's really more about how I handle and deal with things and that is why I provided a little more of myself than I normally would so people would understand where I was coming from.

I have been reading along since late Dec. and have enjoyed reading most of the posts and like you have appreciated "the injection of lightness and humor because it's cheering and healing. Fortunately, we posters have a sense of humor aside from the names that make for a chuckle."

Thanks for your reply and comments - I enjoyed reading what you had to say.

Love Rose

Just letting you know that you didn't contribute to my distress as I really only hung onto so-called 'words of wisdom' from Peny and Jach most of the time.

I basically believed everything they said!!

Anyway, Jeremiah thanks for your reply and comments, I always enjoy reading your posts.

You wrote:

quote:

---

I also began to feel despondent when posters were bought into line whereby they offered their sincerest apologies and admitted they were in negative ego etc. I use to feel sick and think 'Oh well, they've got to them too!!'

---

I was one of those that they "got to". But the good news is that dictatorships always fail eventually. How many times can they keep getting to someone before that person's real self-esteem kicks in and kicks the mobsters out?

You wrote:

quote:

---

...I was moving on from having Hypnotherapy (for 3 years) with a Licenced Therapist - this is one of the reasons I hooked into it so well as it was exactly like my sessions with my healer - the same type meditations etc. so I felt quite safe in this environment.

---

Yeah, just like hypnotherapy, except that the ethical hypnotherapist tells you they are hypnotizing you and they do it one-on-one.

You wrote:

quote:

---

I must say though that even though I nervously giggle about some of the names given to Jach, Peny, Lazaris & C/S
I don't truly feel happy about that as it reminds me of my childhood and I do wonder if that is a positive way to support this site.

---

I have mixed feeling about that as well, even though I have engaged in it. While it may be a bit sophomoric, it can also be healing to make light of that which is presented as heavy and sacred. Many of us have not allowed ourselves to even think some of those thoughts for years, so now we are exercising our newly-found freedom to do so. We have spoken about the danger of de-humanizing people, and I think that most, if not all of us here are committed to not doing that. But rage does require an outlet, and using these names for people we used to deify is a relatively harmless way to let off the steam.

There may be some people who use our sarcasm as a way to discredit this site. So what? People who wish to blind themselves to the truth will always find something to hang their hat on.

You wrote:

quote:

---

I would like to give them a great big hug and 'Thank-you' both once again as this site has been another step for me in validating myself.

---

You're welcome and I thank you for the hug. Though Katie and I started this site, we are not the site. This site has taken on a life of it's own thanks to all the wonderful, sincere people who are posting here. A great big "thank you" to everyone here

quote:

---

I would like to give them a great big hug and
'Thank-you' both once again as this site has been another step for me in validating
myself.

---

I could never begin to tell you how incredibly hugged I feel by this beautiful heartfelt post of yours.

I am aware that this site sometimes causes pain. It hurts like hell to see the clay feet of our heroes exposed. I know all too well.

Ted and I went through all this pain ourselves, but we got to do it privately. This site is the result of a lot of processing, a lot of pain and confusion.

So, we are not unaware of the emotions that might be aroused in those reading here, and we certainly do not lack compassion or understanding, even for the feelings of anger and resentment. These are natural and inevitable.

It is gratifying to us that others like you have responded in a positive way when all is said and done.

I have more thoughts on the rest of your post, but I'm logging off now to zone out in front of the TV. I'll be back in the AM.

Stay cool there down under Rose, and thanks so much for writing and warming my heart with your words.

I just wanted to say hi and welcome to this site. It does help to talk to other people who have seen and felt the same thing doesn't it? The way that those people treat people is horrible isn't it? I was apalled too. Well, I'm off to go look at the rest of the boards. Have a good one.