This is your confessional thread -- too folks.

Tell the watching New Age Consumer world via the internet of the "crimes" you committed in the eyes of Concept:Synergy and associated persons -- along with any consequent punishing retribution(s) you experienced from Concept:Synergy and associated persons.

Saturn 5 main engines start! We have go for launch folks.

Steve

1) When Tradevest fell apart due to what was said by Concept:Synergy to have been a massive pilfering of funds by a member of Tradevest's board of directors; I wrote Peny Prestini (now: "North") a letter expressing my outrage at: her, Jach Purcel, and Michael Prestini for having brought myself -- and so many other spiritually vulnerable people -- into such a totally disasterous business opportunity.

A rather... short time later, I received a *10pm* phone call, at my home from Jach Purcel. He explained to me, in absolute and no-uncertain-terms that it was: "(I who was angry at myself for having consciously created the whole of Tradevest failing in my personal reality)". He then proceeded to demand a direct and personal apology.

Being a rather -- very -- nieve 24 year-old "friend of Lazaris", I allowed myself to be totally bowled over by Jach's angry, demanding -- and indeed: rather socially unusual... late night phone call.

Not only did I appologize and, for the momment completely swollow his claim of deep, psychic awareness of my private mental reality -- the very next day I ACTUALLY sent he, Peny, and Michael FLOWERS 8=(P) for the "awful trouble" I had brought them with my letter expressing outrage about Tradevest taking my -- and everyone else's -- #^%@ money!

Can you say: socially spineless, cver-vulnerable, 24 year-old PUTZ?

I still get so damned angry every time I have reason to recall the whole filthy, humiliating story.

I appreciate your desire, willingness and courage to share your personal experience. However, telling our stories is a slow ongoing process for many of us that takes place over time and building of trust as well as readiness on each individual's part.

Some of us have been sharing bits and pieces of our journey and experiences as is right for us throughout this board, and I imagine will continue to do so. I don't know if I feel comfortable with "soliciting" stories although I do appreciate the invitation and your willingness to lend an ear.

Sounds like your experience was very hurtful to you. And I don't blame you for being angry at all!

I would like to share more thoughts with you, but I got to run for now. I just wanted to get this quick note in and personally welcome you here!

Love,
Demian,
DreamSinger

You said:"Can you say: socially spineless, cver-vulnerable, 24 year-old PUTZ?"

My reply to that is: "Can you say middle aged self-centered spiritual bullies?"

What a story! 24 is awfully young to have something like this dumped on you. But, hey, don't forget, you had a special gift, a personal call from "the Unit". That and $3.50 will buy you a nice creamy cafe latte.

Seriously, I think it is unconscionable of Jach to lay a guilt trip on anyone like that, least of all a sincere young person.
You were angry at yourself! Good lord. But, given our mutual experiences, par for the course. I guess those guys had to come up with some rationalization, maybe they were practicing it on you.

The flowers, oh God, that's so poignant. I hate to put salt on the wound, but given what we know now, they probably smirked when they got them.

You said: "I still get so damned angry every time I have reason to recall the whole filthy, humiliating story."

It makes me angry too, but also, don't be hard on yourself, you were in the hands of masters. Most of us have been there too.

So, after all that, what happened? Did you remain among the faithful?

Thanks for sharing Steve, I can tell this event really did a number on you at the time.

Onward and upward ho.

All the best,

Katie

you wrote:

[[A rather... short time later, I received a *10pm* phone call, at my home from Jach Purcel. He explained to me, in absolute and no-uncertain-terms that it was: "(I who was angry at myself for having consciously created the whole of Tradevest failing in my personal reality)". He then proceeded to demand a direct and personal apology]]

Hmm.. you created them swindling you in your reality.. interesting.

I wonder if Jach ever listened to the Lazaris material [vbg]

Lazaris defines the new-age manipulation of blaming another person for their impact by telling them that "You created my to be shitty toward you"

Saying in essence, "its your fault I treated you badly because you created me being that way".

I was your age too when I started listening to Lazaris, just when Tradevest was poking its ugly little head from the manure bed of CS.

I hope your dad isn't popping any veins over what you wrote. [g]

It's clear that you have held guilt and anger over the years since Tradevest. Now you can get some peace of mind about it all, and know that you are helping others as well. And don't be hard on yourself when you realize that it was unfairly put upon you way back then. We've all been there, so to speak, in one way or another. That's why we're here now!

It was so good to vent this -- I sure hope it helps others heal from the weird fascist ooze now so evident in Concept:Synergy.

How many times in life have I felt it was "my problem / my internal flaw!"? When, in reality, all along: it was some roving, parasitic Super Fund Site using me as just another social toilet on their way to 100% personal toxicity and absolute conscienceless denial.

Damn it -- it's not *always* OUR brokenness generating the pain!

What is this -- Shame XVI?

Oh, Katie: I THEN.. Jesus__.. shoved Tradevest under that 'ole 'Love Bomb-a-matic' Lazaris carpet edge -- until August 1996 when I finally raised the unmitigated gaul to publicly relieve myself, bull-lesbian style in the C:S Forum.

Peny? If you're following along here dear one, I hereby carelessly empty my momentarilly clogged, likely megalo-Clintonian, Tony Robbins mind-poisoned MALE spleen in your general anaerobic direction.

What happened to the open, caring, gentle human being I remember, before Tradevest exploded and you left Marin -- without repairing the trust you damaged in so many who lost their money and did not "make a pot" -- as you told us you did, in Tradevest?

I miss that "you", Peny.

Steve

That is quite a sick story. Take your money, mess with your mind and send you on a guilt trip too. It's bad enough that they do this crap to mature adults. Doing it to a 24 year old was particularly rotten. I too hope you have stopped being hard on yourself. As is clear on thses posts, people with a lot more living experience than you had fell for their B.S. For some reason, I find your story even more disgusting than most. Peny and Jach are cold to the bone.

Glad to have you here, hope you find as much support for healing as I have.

I forgot a the most descriptive word for what Jachal did to you -- RUTHLESS.

I don't think that I committed any crimes that Concept Synergy would want to bust me for. Unless of course you count being cheap as a crime. I just couldn't afford all of the $$ they wanted dished out so I didn't go to many workshops. I think that I went to 3 (?). My mother might remember. I fell asleep at an evening that was in Boston one time, LOL. My mother and sister were so mad at me. It's funny now.

Seriously though, Steve, it's not your fault that you believed in what they told you. People who are smarter than you believed them too. (That's not a slam--it's my way of trying to make a joke about the subject so you'll maybe get at least a little grin out of it. It's okay if you don't-LOL-I have a really strange sense of humour and not many people get it.)Me, my mom, my sister, Ted, Katie... Sigh! the list is endless.

They're a bunch of a**h*l*s. (CS I mean.)

LOL...you even signed your name. It's nice to feel free to do that, isn't it?

Vick, you slept at the workshop in Fort Lauderdale!!! I remember that one well...you started breathing heavy, (snoring? :-)) and that very nice woman kept nudging your sister to wake you up.....LOL, we were both embarrassed and "appalled" that someone could be with Lazaris and fall asleep!!! That workshop was on "The Future," and the final meditation included the Sparks of Light going into the ethers from one end of the world to the other so that every hour we Sparks could create that beautiful future together....

Boy, I sure did love and absorb Lazaris into my heart and soul, didn't I? Well, "IF" Lazaris were proven to be real, I have no worries that he'd stilll love me unconditionally and would laugh and welcome my skepticism for the very reasons we are all here. I also believe that he'd embrace me in that love and laughter....."IF"........

Love to you, Vick,

Groovin...oops, I mean Mom